Why am I so certain of this?\u00a0 Because enabling behavior is something that I struggle with.<\/h3>\n<\/br><\/h5>\nThe danger of enabling behavior<\/i> is something that the enabler may have to learn over and over again, because it is in our nature to want to help.\u00a0 Enabling, in and of itself, is actually a positive thing.\u00a0 Dictionary.com lists the following definitions:\u00a0 1. to make able; \u00a0give power, means, competence, or ability to; authorize 2. to make possible or easy 3. to make ready; equip (often used in combination)<\/h4>\n![\"Enabling](\"https:\/\/onemonthofwisdom.com\/wisdomblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/enabling-1-300x199.jpg\" "\\"Enabling")
<\/a>Enabling behavior<\/u> is fueled by our feelings of love and friendship.\u00a0 It’s only natural to want to help someone we care about, but when it comes to certain life and growth issues or repetitive, negative dysfunctional behaviors, our help simply allows the problem to persist.\u00a0 In other words we are doing more harm than good by allowing that person to avoid making the changes they need to make. At the same time, it is difficult to stop our enabling behavior lest we seem cold, calloused and uncaring.<\/h4>\nSo how can one work through these gray areas of love to stop the enabling behavior?<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/br><\/h5>\nPay close attention to what you are doing and what the other person is doing.\u00a0 If, for instance, a grown child comes back home to live after being away, that is the help that is natural for\u00a0 parents to offer.\u00a0 Falling back into the old mommy or daddy role however, will not help them get out on their own.\u00a0 There are now more meals to prepare, more clothes to wash, and more house cleaning to be done.\u00a0 If you don’t expect them to carry their share of the load, they won’t.\u00a0 If you feel as if you are being taken advantage of, you are!<\/h4>\n<\/br><\/h5>\nYour feelings of resentment are a direct result of your enabling behavior.\u00a0 You would actually show them more love by raising your level of expectation<\/a>.\u00a0 That will encourage them to develop the habit of sharing responsibility with another human being and prepare them for a healthier marital relationship some day.\u00a0 If you are doing it all for them, how will they grow?\u00a0 My experience has taught me that when any relationship begins to feel like too much work, you are likely to be enabling.<\/h4>\n<\/br><\/h5>\n
There are a variety of signs that indicate destructive enabling behavior.\u00a0 I use the word destructive because when these signs are present, the most genuine love you can offer is to correct yourself and stop your enabling behavior.\u00a0 So ask yourself these questions:<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n
The danger of enabling behavior<\/i> is something that the enabler may have to learn over and over again, because it is in our nature to want to help.\u00a0 Enabling, in and of itself, is actually a positive thing.\u00a0 Dictionary.com lists the following definitions:\u00a0 1. to make able; \u00a0give power, means, competence, or ability to; authorize 2. to make possible or easy 3. to make ready; equip (often used in combination)<\/h4>\n<\/a>Enabling behavior<\/u> is fueled by our feelings of love and friendship.\u00a0 It’s only natural to want to help someone we care about, but when it comes to certain life and growth issues or repetitive, negative dysfunctional behaviors, our help simply allows the problem to persist.\u00a0 In other words we are doing more harm than good by allowing that person to avoid making the changes they need to make. At the same time, it is difficult to stop our enabling behavior lest we seem cold, calloused and uncaring.<\/h4>\nSo how can one work through these gray areas of love to stop the enabling behavior?<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/br><\/h5>\nPay close attention to what you are doing and what the other person is doing.\u00a0 If, for instance, a grown child comes back home to live after being away, that is the help that is natural for\u00a0 parents to offer.\u00a0 Falling back into the old mommy or daddy role however, will not help them get out on their own.\u00a0 There are now more meals to prepare, more clothes to wash, and more house cleaning to be done.\u00a0 If you don’t expect them to carry their share of the load, they won’t.\u00a0 If you feel as if you are being taken advantage of, you are!<\/h4>\n<\/br><\/h5>\nYour feelings of resentment are a direct result of your enabling behavior.\u00a0 You would actually show them more love by raising your level of expectation<\/a>.\u00a0 That will encourage them to develop the habit of sharing responsibility with another human being and prepare them for a healthier marital relationship some day.\u00a0 If you are doing it all for them, how will they grow?\u00a0 My experience has taught me that when any relationship begins to feel like too much work, you are likely to be enabling.<\/h4>\n<\/br><\/h5>\n
There are a variety of signs that indicate destructive enabling behavior.\u00a0 I use the word destructive because when these signs are present, the most genuine love you can offer is to correct yourself and stop your enabling behavior.\u00a0 So ask yourself these questions:<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n
![\"Enabling](\"https:\/\/onemonthofwisdom.com\/wisdomblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/enabling-1.jpg\" "\\"Enabling")
<\/a>Enabling behavior<\/u> is fueled by our feelings of love and friendship.\u00a0 It’s only natural to want to help someone we care about, but when it comes to certain life and growth issues or repetitive, negative dysfunctional behaviors, our help simply allows the problem to persist.\u00a0 In other words we are doing more harm than good by allowing that person to avoid making the changes they need to make. At the same time, it is difficult to stop our enabling behavior lest we seem cold, calloused and uncaring.<\/h4>\n